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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25979695">you gotta wonder how it happened</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/znake/pseuds/znake'>znake</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>you wouldn't believe [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Piece</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cooking, Crew as Family, French Vinsmoke Sanji, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pre-Time Skip, Sanji Is Not A Vinsmoke, dare i say it..., sanji being told he is valid by all his friends, sorry for making him french but i simply had no choice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:13:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,008</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25979695</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/znake/pseuds/znake</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sanji's mind is full of thoughts, and so he cooks to distract himself. His friends won't let him go through this alone, however.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji, Vinsmoke Sanji &amp; Everyone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>you wouldn't believe [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1885597</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>234</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>you gotta wonder how it happened</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>title from Reasons by Civilian</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sometimes, it’s the simple things that bring the most joy.</p>
<p>Sanji stares at the table in front of him, eyeing the pile of ingredients resting on it. Salmon, soy sauce, mirin for the main course… Bok choy and rice for sides… His blinks, trying to remember if he’s missing anything. The dinner he was making wasn’t difficult in the least, and he was in fact making it because it was so easy. His mind had been elsewhere lately, and he needed to make something that required minimal thinking. Maybe, if he had the time, he’d make a nice dessert to go along with it.</p>
<p>“Oh. Brown sugar.” He mutters, realising what he’s forgotten. He paces to the pantry to grab some, only to notice that there seemed to be a bottle of cooking wine missing. He curses under his breath, adding ‘Yell at Zoro’ to his mental to-do list. And with that, he can finally start cooking.</p>
<p>His hands move, muscle memory guiding him through each step of the recipe. Mix the marinade, and add the fish. Clean the rice, prep the vegetables. This is easy. He can do this. He remembers how, back on the Baratie, his first job in the kitchen (that involved touching food) was preparing the ingredients for other chefs. He smiles to himself, remembering how large the knives had seemed to him back then. Now, he grips them easily, confidant in his slicing and chopping.</p>
<p>As he heats the pan, he lets himself drift further down his train of thought. He can’t quite remember the moment he had finally grown into the kitchen knives. What he does remember is getting his own set, the year he turned 15. Zeff had prepared them as a birthday gift, though the old man would never have admitted it to anyone. “I didn’t realise it was your birthday, beansprout. Thought your knife work might actually improve if you stopped ruining everyone else’s knives.” The memory makes him chuckle, as he remembers overhearing some of the other chefs talking about how long Zeff had debated over his gift.</p>
<p>He places the fish into the pan. He’d been 11 or so when Zeff had taught him to properly hold a knife.</p>
<p>He wonders how old Zoro was when he first held a blade.</p>
<p>He flips the fish, and adds the marinade to the pan.</p>
<p>He wonders if Zoro had been scared, excited, or both, when he’d held his first sword.</p>
<p>He checks the vegetables and the rice, making sure his timing is accurate.</p>
<p>Knowing the marimo, he’d probably felt ecstatic to finally be able to do some real damage to people. If only that little boy could see what he would grow into… Well. He’d probably be even more excited to hold a blade.</p>
<p>With everything finished cooking, he begins to plate up the meal. And with every element he puts down, he releases his thoughts, until, finally, everything is ready and his head is clear again.</p>
<p>“DINNER!” he yells, knowing he only has a few seconds before Luffy and the rest of his crew bursts down the kitchen door. He takes those seconds to inhale, exhale, and push everything back down.</p>
<p>Sometimes, the simple things are the hardest. And god, did Zoro make it easy to love him.</p>
<p>------</p>
<p>Making crêpes is easy, just time consuming. The batter takes a few minutes to mix but has to sit for half an hour before Sanji could even start cooking it.</p>
<p>It’s been a while since he last made crêpes – in fact, now that he thinks about it, this was the first time he’s made them on the Sunny. Back when Merry was around, he’d made them on a semi-regular basis, since they’d been easy to store and could be served for multiple meals. Not that they ever lasted that long, between the captain and the swordsman. Back then, he remembered putting special effort into Nami, and later Robin’s, desserts, making a show of his craftsmanship each time.</p>
<p>Now, with 8 members of the crew, cooking something like crêpes means he’ll be cooking through the whole meal, unable to take a break until the end. Not that he minds, of course. To Sanji, there’s nothing more wonderful than bringing smiles to people through his cooking.</p>
<p>Well, there was maybe one thing he likes more. And maybe, that one thing happened to be sitting right behind him.</p>
<p>“Do you really have nothing better to do then barge into my kitchen and watch me cook?” Sanji jeers, pouring out the first ladle of batter. He tilts the pan, spreading it evenly throughout.</p>
<p>He can feel Zoro staring at his back. For reasons unknown to Sanji, he’s walked in a few minutes earlier, sat down in silence, and hasn’t said anything since.</p>
<p>“…It’s Nami’s fault.”</p>
<p>Sanji turns his head, surprised to get a response from the swordsman. He sees Zoro, chin resting on his palm, eyes staring down at the ground. Seems he couldn’t stand the sight of the chef, as always.</p>
<p>“It’s not right to run away from your debts, marimo.” He shakes the pan before flipping the crêpe. “Nami takes careful care of the budget. Without her, I get no ingredients and you get no booze.”</p>
<p>“It’s not- It’s not like that.” Zoro mumbles into his hand.</p>
<p>Sanji smiles at this. “She must have roped you into another one of her schemes, huh?” He slides the completed crêpe onto a plate, and, with his rhythm set, he starts the process again.</p>
<p>They stay silent, like that, for a while. Sanji continues to cook, and Zoro continues to sit and watch. Finally, Sanji finishes the last crêpe and tops off his stack. He grabs a few off the top and sets them aside for his own dinner.</p>
<p>Cooking with Zoro around wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Ever since Arlong Park, the swordsman would come in periodically to watch. He never offered to help with anything other than the dishes, something Sanji is thankful for. He says it’s because it would ruin the food, but in reality he just wouldn’t know what to do.</p>
<p>As he begins to cook all the fillings (ratatouille for the girls, steak for the boys, and some candied fruit for dessert), Sanji feels himself wanting to turn back. He wants to turn around, look at Zoro, talk to Zoro, do something with the other man. But at the same time, he’s scared. Scared of breaking this unspoken pact between the two of them, of ruining whatever positive relationship they might have. Once the meal is served, once everyone arrives, this temporary peace will end, and they’ll go back to being at odds with each other.</p>
<p>The oil sizzles and spatters, and Sanji hisses as some of it hits his arm.</p>
<p>The pain brings him back to reality, and he decides to put his thoughts away again. He has a meal to cook, and that’s all he needs to think about.</p>
<p>------</p>
<p>A few days later, and it’s Nami he finds sitting in his kitchen as he cooks.</p>
<p>“It’s cold out. Sanji, can you make me something warm to drink please?” She’d spread her maps out without even asking, wrapping her hands around the hot coffee he had been making for the crew.</p>
<p>“If there’s anything else I can do for you, Nami, just let me know!” he says, smiling and twirling like always.</p>
<p>With that, he turns back and checks on snack. He’d been planning on making ice cream, but with the sudden change in weather he’d decided to change his plan slightly. Café and chocolat liégeois, like they used to serve back home.</p>
<p>“Do you ever think about the people we leave behind?”</p>
<p>Nami’s question lingers in the room as Sanji stirs the melted chocolate.</p>
<p>He knows who she’s talking about. This isn’t the first time they’ve had this conversation.</p>
<p>“Nami, I… I think about them all the time.” His voice is low, breaths in tandem with the bubbling chocolate.</p>
<p>“I miss my family, Sanji.” He can hear her holding back her tears, the words choking her up. “I miss Vivi. I miss- I miss everyone.”</p>
<p>He doesn’t know what to say. Despite everything, he never feels like he knows what to say in these situations. Of course he missed the Baratie. Of course he wished he could have hugged Vivi goodbye. But he feels like saying it would be an admission of weakness.</p>
<p>Instead, he continues to stare at the melted chocolate, mouth shut, shoulders tense.</p>
<p>Nami sniffs, and he instinctively pulls a tissue out and reaches his arm out behind him, handing it to her. Respecting her privacy is the only thing he feels he can do for her.</p>
<p>“You have to tell people how you feel about them. Leaving things unsaid will only hurt you more.”</p>
<p>And with that, she blows her nose, gathers her things, and leaves the kitchen.</p>
<p>And Sanji is alone with the deafening silence of his own love.</p>
<p>------</p>
<p>It’s 2am, and Sanji and Usopp are standing in the kitchen together, hunched over a bowl full of cookie batter.</p>
<p>“The cookie batter is the best part. I don’t know why we even bother baking it.” Usopp says, reaching into the bowl. Sanji quickly slaps his hand away.</p>
<p>“At least grab a clean spoon. The number one rule of cooking is cleanliness.” </p>
<p>“Awfully bold coming from someone licking the spatula!” Usopp pouts, but opens the cutlery drawer and grabs a spoon regardless. </p>
<p>Sanji had woken up an hour prior and noticed that Usopp’s cot was empty. Curiosity getting the better of him, he’d groggily gotten up and searched the ship until he’d found him, stacking pantry ingredients on the kitchen table.</p>
<p>“There really, truly, is nothing better than homemade chocolate chip cookies and a warm glass of milk in the middle of the night, that is the only reason I am here, I swear, I wasn’t trying to steal from the pantry or anything, please believe me-” </p>
<p>Sanji had burst into laughter and offered to help out.</p>
<p>“Usopp, if you keep eating the dough, there won’t actually be any cookies to eat.” Sanji grins, watching the sniper take another spoonful out of the bowl.</p>
<p>“Well, Sanji, as you know, we have no proof that the cookies will be good once baked. But, there is proof that the dough is. Thus, I think the evidence shows that we should ditch the idea of baking them and just split it between the two of us- and you know what? I think we should be drinking that warm milk right now!” With that, Usopp springs up to go heat the milk.</p>
<p>Sanji just watches, a smile on his face. He’s had a feeling they wouldn’t be finishing these cookies tonight, to the point that he hasn’t bothered preheating the oven.</p>
<p>As Usopp turns on the heat and pours out the milk, Sanji dips his spatula back into the bowl, scooping a heaping portion out. </p>
<p>“This is fun,” he says. “Been a while since you helped out in the kitchen.” </p>
<p>“Well, as you are aware, the great Usopp is busy defending our humble ship from the forces of evil-” Usopp rambles on, gesturing wildly with one hand as he continues stirring the milk.</p>
<p>Continuing to nibble on the dough, Sanji gets up to grab them some mugs. “Usopp, do you want the penguin or bear today?” Although they had technically bought them for Chopper, the crew all shared the adorable animal mugs when the kid wasn’t around.</p>
<p>“And that’s how- oh, the bear one please. The milk’s ready too!” And with that, they fill up their cups and sit back down around the bowl.</p>
<p>They spend some time in silence, nursing their milk and dough.</p>
<p>“Is everything ok, Usopp?”</p>
<p>Sanji’s voice is low. He’s not expecting an answer, but he wants the other boy to know he’s there for him.</p>
<p>There’s a beat of silence before Usopp responds.</p>
<p>“Today makes six months since I said goodbye to Kaya.”</p>
<p>Ah. Sanji thinks. That would explain it.</p>
<p>“Do you… want to go back?”</p>
<p>Usopp just smiles sadly and grabs more cookie dough.</p>
<p>“You know, Kaya used to bake cookies like these. She’d place them in a picnic basket and would leave them on the sill for me to share with the boys. She gave me the recipe, too,” he points at the paper he’d been using to make the dough, “but the one time I tried, I must have mixed up the baking soda with something else, because they exploded.”</p>
<p>Sanji takes another sip out of the penguin mug, trying to think of something to say. </p>
<p>It must be clear on his face, because Usopp waves his hand and continues.</p>
<p>“I’m not sad or anything! Well, I mean I am, and I miss her, but I know I have to go through this to be worthy of her, so it’s ok. I don’t want to go home anymore. This is home, after all. It’s just, I’m worried that I’ll be so hung up trying to become what I imagine is someone deserving of her, that she’ll forget me and move on.”</p>
<p>“That won’t-” Usopp cuts Sanji off with another wave of his hand</p>
<p>“Sanji, I’m not telling you this for pity or anything. I’m working on myself, and I know you’re working on yourself too. Just know that we’re all deserving of love, even if we don’t think we are.”</p>
<p>And with that, he scoops up the last of the cookie dough, his smile filled with a sadness Sanji knows is aimed at him.</p>
<p>------</p>
<p>Sanji jolts awake, heart pounding out of his chest, sweat dripping off his face. He’s been dreaming, of something, of someone, but he doesn’t want to remember. </p>
<p>He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to erase the nightmare from his mind.</p>
<p>“Sanji… Are you ok?” a little voice rings out from next to him.</p>
<p>Chopper’s voice brings his memories flooding back. That’s right- he wasn’t just sleeping, he’d been attacked by some ruffians who’d ambushed him on his way back from shopping. </p>
<p>He sits up, wincing slightly at a pain in his abdomen. “I’m fine Chopper! This is nothing.” He plasters on his usual big, goofy grin, hoping to alleviate some of the kid’s worries.</p>
<p>Chopper looks down, pressing his hooves together in a sort of nervous tick. “You need to take better care of yourself… You had us all worried there. That guy had poison on his sword, you know.”</p>
<p>Ah. No wonder a simple stab wound was causing so much strife. Sanji reached out to pat the doctor on the head, ignoring the pain he felt while doing so.</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t have been hurt if our swordsman hadn’t gotten lost. He was supposed to help me carry the groceries, you know. So really, it’s all his fault.” </p>
<p>And that was the truth of it, after all. The island they’d stopped on had a plethora of rare ingredients, including giant, extremely fragile eggs from a native bird. He would never have trusted Zoro with them, the oaf would drop them without thinking, but he had been paying a bit too much attention to not breaking them instead of defending himself. </p>
<p>Chopper looks up at this, a serious look in his eyes. “Please don’t pretend you’re ok when you’re not. It’s my job to look after the crew, and if you’re not honest with me I can’t help you.” The reindeer gets up and walks over to get his medical tools. </p>
<p>“I don’t know why you would say that! I’m perfectly all-”</p>
<p>“Please!!”</p>
<p>Sanji stares at Chopper, stunned. He can see the reindeer’s small frame shaking, and there’s a cracking in his voice. He continues without turning around.</p>
<p>“We really thought we’d lost you this time. You didn’t come back and we all got so scared and no one knew where you were and we had to go find you and we didn’t know if you were alive and even if the captain believed you would be I was still scared. I was scared that I might lose-” his voice cracks. “I thought I was going to lose you too.”</p>
<p>Sanji sits, stunned. He doesn’t know what to say. He didn’t think his injury was that bad, and he couldn’t imagine the whole ship panicking over his disappearance, anyway. </p>
<p>“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. I’m stronger than you give me credit for, you know.” </p>
<p>At that, Chopper turns around, and Sanji can see that the young doctor is crying. He tenses, not sure what to do. But before he can spiral, Chopper runs up to him and hugs him, burying his face in Sanji’s stomach.</p>
<p>“You were out for a full week and I thought you’d never open your eyes again and I’m so thankful- I’m so happy you’re here, and alive.” Chopper sobs into Sanji’s shirt.</p>
<p>Chopper’s words pierce through his heart. That’s right. These people care about him. His family cares about him. He feels the tears welling up in his eyes too, but wills them away, wrapping his arms around Chopper. </p>
<p>“Thank you.” he whispers into his hat. “I’m happy I’m here too.” He pushes Chopper back a bit to look into his face, the kid’s snot sticking to his shirt. “How about I make you some cotton candy, once you clear me to leave?”</p>
<p>Chopper gives Sanji his biggest smile, and despite the tears still in his eyes, Sanji has a feeling that everything will be alright.</p>
<p>------</p>
<p>The ocean was calm, for once. </p>
<p>Sanji leans over the side of the Sunny, staring up at the sky. How lucky he is, to be on watch on a night like this, with dozens of shooting stars falling every minute.</p>
<p>Meteor showers were fairly common on the Grand Line, but they still felt special every time he got to see one. There was something inherently magical about them, watching the sky light up like this. This was one of his small joys.</p>
<p>He takes a puff from his cigarette, letting the smoke dribble out slowly from his mouth. Tonight was a night to savour, after all. The weather is perfect, the sea is calm, and he’s all alone.</p>
<p>He smiles to himself, and begins to sing under his breath.</p>
<p>
  <i>J’ai du bon tabac dans ma tabatière, j’ai du bon tabac mais tu n’en auras pas!</i>
</p>
<p>“That’s a lovely tune, Mr. Cook.” </p>
<p>He turns his head, his smile getting wider as he sees Robin walking up to join him on the deck, a small shawl wrapped around her shoulders.</p>
<p>“Robin! I hope I didn’t wake you up. Can I get you anything from the kitchen?” He pushes himself off the banister, inhaling the sea breeze.</p>
<p>“An infusion would be nice, if that’s alright with you.” Robin’s smile seems almost as bright as the stars, to Sanji. “Something not too sweet, please.” She adds, as Sanji bows and goes to prepare some tea.</p>
<p>In the pantry, he opens his special tea cupboard and considers his options. Almond and honey, Infusion Pique-nique, Strawberry and Raspberry, Bora Bora, Peach and Pineapple… He finally decides on one Robin had picked out a few islands ago, called Le Temps des Cerises. While the name seemed a bit high blooded, the infusion itself was delicious.</p>
<p>He selects their usual tea set, white porcelain with blue detailings, and readies the tray, adding a few biscuits as a midnight snack. With that all set, he heads back out to the deck.</p>
<p>Robin has pulled out her usual reading table and is sitting on one of the two chairs. She moves to stand up to help Sanji, but he simply shakes his head and places the tray down on the table, setting up their midnight tea.</p>
<p>“I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I would come up and get some fresh air. I didn’t realise there was a meteor shower tonight.” Robin states, looking up at the sky as he sits across from her.</p>
<p>“I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting it either. I didn’t want to wake anyone up so I’ve just been watching alone.”</p>
<p>She smiles again and sips her tea.</p>
<p>They sit in silence for a while, drinking and watching the stars shoot by. Sanji’s cigarette has long since burned up, the air clear with the smell of the ocean around them. This is nice, he thinks. Being alone was nice, but being alone together like this was even better. Companionship in solitude, as someone had probably once said.</p>
<p>“Where I grew up, there was a song children would sing during meteor showers like this.” Robin murmurs, eyes downcast into her cup. “I’d completely forgotten it until I heard you singing earlier.”</p>
<p>Sanji continues to watch the stars, and waits a moment before replying. He knows that talking about her past is hard for her, something he knows they have in common. </p>
<p>“Where I… grew up, we didn’t have a tradition like that.” He chooses his words carefully, worried something might slip. “We did always make wishes on them, though.”</p>
<p>Robin chuckles. “Yes, we had that too. I suppose there’s something about nights like these that make you hopeful.” She takes a sip before adding, “If you don’t mind me asking, what was that song then? I don’t believe I’ve heard the language before.”</p>
<p>Sanji looks away and grimaces a bit, running his hand through his hair. “It’s a, uh, kids song? I think? I’m honestly not sure who it’s for... “</p>
<p>Robin chuckles at his nervousness. “It’s alright if you don’t want to share, I understand if you don’t believe it to be appropriate.”</p>
<p>At this Sanji fervently shakes his head. “No no! It’s just a silly song about tobacco. It translates to I have good tobacco in my tobacco case, I have good tobacco but you won’t get any!” He singsongs the translation.</p>
<p>Robin begins to laugh at this, eyelids creasing as she sets her cup down. </p>
<p>“Here I thought it would be about women, but it turns out our Cook simply loves his cigarettes more than I thought!” </p>
<p>She laughs the way she does when she’s truly happy, letting herself go with full abandon. Seeing her like that makes Sanji laugh too, realising too late how silly he must have looked getting all worked up about a sailor’s tune.</p>
<p>They talk and laugh, and joke and laugh, until their tea has gone cold and the stars begin to fade away. The two of them greet the morning with smiles on their faces and tears in their eyes.</p>
<p>As they begin to clear the table, Sanji knowing he has to go prepare breakfast, Robin clears her throat one last time.</p>
<p>“Mr Cook, I know it can be hard at times to reach out to people. But I hope you know that, if you ever need something, you can come to me. Even if it’s just to sit together, or laugh together, or advice,” she winks at him, “I’m here for you.”</p>
<p>And with that, they both giggle one last time and head to the kitchen, ready to face another day.</p>
<p>------</p>
<p>Sanji feels like his skin is burning with every moment he spends on the deck. They’d just left a winter island, only to get hit by a heatwave so strong Usopp swore he’d seen lightning without thunder last night.</p>
<p>In short, it was too hot to even bother being alive.</p>
<p>And yet, despite the heat, Franky had insisted they hold a barbeque. </p>
<p>“Hot days are the only days for barbecuing! It’s all about the atmosphere!” Had been his pitch at breakfast.</p>
<p>Of course Luffy had jumped at the opportunity for grilled meat.</p>
<p>So now, Sanji finds　himself standing on the deck, covered only by a parasol, fanning himself to try and cool down even a single degree, as Franky grills.</p>
<p>“SANJI! You know you don’t have to stay out here, right? I got this aaaaall taken care of!” Franky yells from the grill. How he has so much energy, Sanji has no idea. </p>
<p>He gestures dismissively, “I am still the cook. Can’t leave everything to you.” In truth he’d like nothing better than to leave everything to Franky and go back inside, in the coolness of the boat. But his pride doesn’t let him.</p>
<p>“OK!!” Franky yells back. Looking at him, dressed in nothing but his open shirt, bathing suit, and newly acquired socks and sandals, Sanji can’t help but feel worried.</p>
<p>“I’m going to get you an apron so you don’t burn yourself.” Sanji states, already halfway back to the kitchen. Franky doesn’t seem to hear him, whistling some old sailors tune loudly to himself. </p>
<p>The moment he steps inside, the cool air hits him like a train. The relief makes him momentarily forget why he’s even come in, content to just stand there for a bit. But he snaps out fairly quickly, heading over to grab both an apron and some drinks. He fills two glasses up with ice, then pours the home pressed lemonade over one, and some of Franky’s coke over the other. Even the cyborg had to be feeling hot in this weather. </p>
<p>He briefly considers giving Franky one of his nicer aprons, but knows that he’d just ask for one of the novelty ones he seems to find on every island they stop on. He chooses one of the less egregious ones, that simply states “DAMN, I LOVE FRYING”. While grilling and frying aren’t the same thing, it’s dumb enough that he thinks Franky will accept it. </p>
<p>He braces himself before stepping back outside, quickly shuffling back under his parasol. He takes a sip of his drink before walking over to Franky to hand over the other glass.</p>
<p>“Oh, thanks man! This heat’s really eating my stock right up!” Franky says, guzzling the glass down, ice and all in a single gulp. Sanji is impressed, if he’s being honest.</p>
<p>“So you ARE affected by heat! I was starting to get my doubts, if I’m being honest.” Sanji can feel the heat from the grill multiplying the heat from the sun, so he steps back into the shade.</p>
<p>Franky just grins, and slides on his sunglasses. “Oh, I’m hot all right! I’m just powerin’ through. Nothin’ beats the sound of sizzlin’ meat in the sun.” He finishes flipping the patties, and closes the grill. </p>
<p>Sanji watches as the cyborg slides on the apron and walks over to join him in the shade. </p>
<p>“You have a very… specific taste in weather, Franky.”</p>
<p>Franky’s smile takes on a sadder tinge, and Sanji wonders if he landed on a sore spot.</p>
<p>“It’s about the memories, you know? Are you gonna remember the days you barbequed in a comfortable temperature, or the days you almost died doing it? You gotta live for the future, and have fun.”</p>
<p>He looks down at the cook, his eyes hidden behind his glasses, and puts a large hand on Sanji’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“You do so much for us, Sanji. You can take a day off from time to time, you know? Go take care of yourself for once!”</p>
<p>Franky’s smile turns goofy, and suddenly Sanji realises something looks off with the grill.</p>
<p>“Franky, did you modify my grill again-”</p>
<p>------</p>
<p>Luffy had always said he wanted a musician, and while none of his crewmates ever doubted he would find one, Brook far exceeded all their expectations.</p>
<p>But, since their crew already included a reindeer and a cyborg, a skeleton didn’t take much time to get used to.</p>
<p>Brook, despite his strange hobbies, was a welcome addition to the crew, in more ways than one. His fighting was nothing to be scoffed at, and neither was his experience on the seas. But what made him truly valuable, Sanji felt, was the way he filled the silence.</p>
<p>Sanji was used to waking up first, relieving whoever was on watch, and making breakfast. Till now, his mornings had been quiet, at most punctuated by his own humming and whistling.</p>
<p>Now, he wakes up to the sound of Brook tuning his violin, and is accompanied by warmups as he cooks through breakfast. It’s nice, sometimes, to not be alone with your thoughts, he muses to himself.</p>
<p>He leans out, and waves Brook over. </p>
<p>“Yohoho! Cook, how may I help today? Any songs you’d like to start the day?”</p>
<p>Sanji smiles. “No, actually. But I was wondering if you wanted to join me in the kitchen.”</p>
<p>Brook brightens, and prances into the kitchen. </p>
<p>“Ah- the kitchen… A place of magic and amazement!” And with that, he breaks into a sea shanty Sanji knows well, recounting the many ingredients of a pirate’s feast.</p>
<p>Sanji laughs and sings along, breaking eggs and cutting bread.</p>
<p>By the time the song ends, all Sanji has left to do is wait for the quiches to finish cooking in the oven. He pours himself some coffee, and a large glass of milk for Brook.</p>
<p>“Ah, thank you! All that singing made my throat bone dry! Wait- I don’t have a throat!” He guffaws at his own joke and downs his glass.</p>
<p>Sanji sips his coffee, sitting himself down at the kitchen table. “Brook, if there’s ever anything you want, food, drink, you can let me know.”</p>
<p>“Same to you, dear cook! I am always open to listener suggestions!” The skeleton laughs, his voice ringing through the stillness of the ship. He breaks into a second song. This one is slower, more melancholic.</p>
<p>Sanji stiffens. He heard this, a long time ago. He feels his heart sink, his breath quicken. </p>
<p>He needs to keep smiling, to keep laughing. But all he can think about is the music, and this song.</p>
<p>The second verse starts. He’s having trouble seeing now, colours melting together into an incomprehensible blur.</p>
<p>Then the song stops. </p>
<p>The shape Sanji assumes is Brook opening and closing its mouth, but he can’t seem to make any words out.</p>
<p>He feels a cold glass being pressed into his shaking hands, and feels bones guide it to his lips.</p>
<p>The cold helps clear his head, and he hears Brook’s voice telling him to breathe. He follows the musician’s instructions, breathing in, out, in, out…</p>
<p>He’s finally stopped shaking, and takes another sip of water. He can finally think again.</p>
<p>He feels stupid. All that, over a stupid song. He should be better than this. He should be past this. Yet here he is, falling apart over small things again-</p>
<p>“Sanji. Are you ok?”</p>
<p>Sanji realises he’s crossed his arms again, closing himself off. He raises his head to answer in a shaky voice, “Yes. I think. Thanks.”</p>
<p>He realises that Brook has been rubbing reassuring circles into his back. The musician is surprisingly warm, despite being a skeleton. </p>
<p>“Would you like to talk?”</p>
<p>“I… No… I’m ok now, I think.”</p>
<p>Brook nods sagely. “Sanji, I’m going to talk, but you can tell me to stop at any time. I’d like to apologise for playing that song. I noticed you knew more songs from North Blue than the others, so I assumed you might like that one. I will not play it again. I understand that music has power, both for better and for worse. I’d like to think I know this better than most.” </p>
<p>Brook continues talking, his voice soft and reassuring in Sanji’s ear. “I don’t expect you to talk about what may have happened, with this song, or at all, and you don’t have to force yourself. I would just like you to know that I, and all your friends, are here and willing to listen.”</p>
<p>Sanji knows, despite what he might tell himself, that his friends love him. And he loves them too, a unique love for each unique member, but that’s exactly why he won’t tell them.</p>
<p>So instead, he looks up at Brook and smiles.</p>
<p>The oven dings. He has no time for these thoughts anymore, he has a meal to cook.</p>
<p>------</p>
<p>Sanji loves being a Strawhat. He loved being a cook on the Baratie, but this felt different. There, he was one among many - necessary, but still just one in a group. Here, he was unique. Irreplaceable, even. And that scared him.</p>
<p>Nights like these, his head full of thoughts, he liked to go out and listen to the sound of the sea. And so he found himself sitting on the bow of the shi, Luffy seated on Sunny’s head in front of him.</p>
<p>“Sanji, what’s for breakfast tomorrow? Is it meat?”</p>
<p>“If that’s what you’d like, I can whip up some bacon and eggs. But you’re gonna have to eat some tomatoes too, Captain.”</p>
<p>Luffy lets himself fall back, groaning. “I don’t wanna! Saaaanji, I’ll eat anyyything but tomatoes. Pleaase?”</p>
<p>Sanji laughs. He always gives in to Luffy. It’s how he ended up here in the first place. “Sure. I can do that.”</p>
<p>The breeze runs across the boat, blows through Sanji’s hair, and makes Luffy place a careful hand on his hat. As the captain sits up, Sanji can’t help but admire Luffy and all he’s done. Here he was, at 17, chasing his dreams, unbothered by what anyone said. Sanji was proud to follow him.</p>
<p>But as Luffy looks back at him, Sanji isn’t sure he can read his captain’s expression.</p>
<p>“Sanji,” he starts, quizzically, “are you happy?”</p>
<p>He’s taken aback by the question. </p>
<p>“Yes, of course I’m happy!”</p>
<p>Luffy breaks out into a wide grin again. </p>
<p>“That’s what I thought! But I wanted to hear it from you.” He pouts his lips, before adding, “You care about us all so much. I’m glad you’re here. But, Sanji, you know you’re allowed to be selfish sometimes, right?”</p>
<p>He lets the words sink in, before nodding;</p>
<p>“Yeah. I think I can do that. Thanks, Captain.”</p>
<p>------</p>
<p>It’s raining today, a warm shower of the variety that makes kids ditch their umbrellas in favour of running around in raincoats and rainboots, jumping and splashing in the nearest puddle.</p>
<p>Of course, as soon as the meal had ended, half the crew had run out to do just that. This left Sanji and Zoro alone in the kitchen, doing the dishes.</p>
<p>It had been another great meal, but Sanji wasn’t thinking about that, or the next meal, or even what he needed to restock. Instead, he was hyper aware of everything Zoro did. How their fingers would brush together when he passed a dish, how Zoro was breathing in time with his motions, the way the swordsman looked so focused on the task at hand. </p>
<p>And so, handing over a bowl, he makes up his mind.</p>
<p>“Zoro.” He tests the name in his mouth. It feels good.</p>
<p>The swordsman just grunts.</p>
<p>He looks at Zoro.</p>
<p>“I love you.”</p>
<p>Zoro grunts again, continuing to rinse the dish. </p>
<p>There’s a moment of stillness, where the only sounds are voices coming from outside, where time seems to stop for the two of them. Sanji isn’t even sure if either one of them is breathing.</p>
<p>Then the bowl Zoro was holding clatters to the ground.</p>
<p>The two of them lock eyes, and Sanji sees just how red Zoro has become. He’s cute when he’s flustered, he muses.</p>
<p>“I- what- you can’t-”</p>
<p>“I love you, Zoro.” Sanji chuckles, and dries his hands. He feels better, like a weight has been lifted off his chest.</p>
<p>“-Sanji-” Zoro’s voice catches in his throat. Sanji wonders if this is the first time he’s called him by his name. “I- I- fuck, it wasn’t supposed to-” </p>
<p>Zoro cuts himself off to grab Sanji’s hands, sending soap suds sailing across the floor.</p>
<p>“I love you too!”</p>
<p>Zoro looks so serious, despite his red face and still soapy hands, that Sanji can’t help but laugh.</p>
<p>“I’m serious!” Zoro mumbles, seemingly growing self conscious.</p>
<p>“I know, marimo. I know.”</p>
<p>He leans in, and kisses Zoro.</p>
<p>------</p>
<p>And as they lay together that night, Sanji’s arms wrapped around Zoro’s waist, he can’t help but snuggle into the swordsman’s neck, and smile. </p>
<p>It all worked out in the end. It always does.</p>
<p>And he could get used to this happiness.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so... i've been writing this for almost a month now... shout out to gummy again for proofreading. if you want a recipe, and i say this in full seriousness, comment or message me @sodiepopgaming on twitter. i only wrote things that i know how to make and i am serious about my cooking. side effect of being french.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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